I ignored all the nuanced archetypes we've been developing, which felt wrong. But I wanted to show pure expression of calling and make all human (expect the specials). Headshots make it even more difficult to convey calling, so had to be quite obvious. In two minds over this. Could only use archetypes for the larger scene based illustrations. Hmmm.
Immortals range from Jack Kirby like new god types and Mum-ra, so humanish without being quite human always works. I like the current face, but you've got a point - maybe something Skeletal or Angelic looking for distinction?
Looks great! And now some nitpicking :P * before Trait in the first sentence, there is a semicolon instead of a colon * the last sentence in the first paragraph says "generate created", one of which is redundant * the "Oxford comma" is used in one place and nowhere else (I can't remember if you decided pro or contra) * I would put a comma after "Once you've found your Calling" * character is irregularly spelled with capital C * in the last paragraph, Aptitude isn't capitalised * in the last paragraph a comma is missing from before "though" * the last paragraph is a bit ambiguous; if I choose neither increasing the bonus or gaining another, I don't get -1, but if I choose either of those, I will, right? * the empty space below the fairy could be used for something, perhaps
This particular section is under heavy scrutiny at the moment too; we are tweaking things back and forth a lot and some stuff gets wonky. We'll nail it though!
I don't know if you read my mind, but I was really hoping the Battle Caster would have a big hat.
ReplyDeleteWe need a good name for the Combined Calling/Species, too.
The updated pic's War-Mechanoid is perfect. I love the robo-eyes!
ReplyDeleteI ignored all the nuanced archetypes we've been developing, which felt wrong. But I wanted to show pure expression of calling and make all human (expect the specials). Headshots make it even more difficult to convey calling, so had to be quite obvious. In two minds over this. Could only use archetypes for the larger scene based illustrations. Hmmm.
DeleteAlso assumed Immortals are Alucardesque/vampiric (should they allow for a bit more Mumm-ra?)
DeleteMaybe they are visually too close to tenebrates. Should they be more undead?
DeleteImmortals range from Jack Kirby like new god types and Mum-ra, so humanish without being quite human always works. I like the current face, but you've got a point - maybe something Skeletal or Angelic looking for distinction?
DeleteAlso, I like the very basic icons here - its the baseline, you know? Nuance gets added with species, quirk, etc.
DeleteI also want to emphasize that both basic archtypes and out of the box types are both entirely within the boundries of the game, so this is good.
Looks great! And now some nitpicking :P
ReplyDelete* before Trait in the first sentence, there is a semicolon instead of a colon
* the last sentence in the first paragraph says "generate created", one of which is redundant
* the "Oxford comma" is used in one place and nowhere else (I can't remember if you decided pro or contra)
* I would put a comma after "Once you've found your Calling"
* character is irregularly spelled with capital C
* in the last paragraph, Aptitude isn't capitalised
* in the last paragraph a comma is missing from before "though"
* the last paragraph is a bit ambiguous; if I choose neither increasing the bonus or gaining another, I don't get -1, but if I choose either of those, I will, right?
* the empty space below the fairy could be used for something, perhaps
Forgive me, I am still proofreading!
DeleteI love nit picking! Show no mercy... Rey, definitely add Ynas to the proofreader list (if he's interested)
DeleteWe'll let you know when it's ready for your eagle eyes (still away to go yet)
This particular section is under heavy scrutiny at the moment too; we are tweaking things back and forth a lot and some stuff gets wonky. We'll nail it though!
DeleteI quite enjoy proofreading, sorting data, and that kind of stuff ;)
DeleteI can tell. I love you peoples!
DeleteIt's super helpful for me, too. I can make the mechanics line up easy, but it's easy to get lost in your ideas and miss stuff other eyes can catch.
Delete