I wouldn't say the text was mangled so much as given a more thrifty haircut.One thing I wanna note (nesscary or no), Is that all stunts do need the attacker to make a successful attack; overwhelming blow (and all stunts that cause a target to trip, move etc) allows a check to prevent falling, but the damage is always suffered.
Maybe characters with the 'might' trait don't suffer the full defense penalty with Great Weapons?'Deft' characters could get a Quick Weapons benefit etc...Also any race specific perks? EG A Bruun with the Rock Breaker?Maybe this ends up creating plausible but generic characters. I guess Break!! is where you can be the Chib that wields the Grimsythe! Still might be nice...
I really wrestled with a lot of stuff, should I have traits, species, etc, combat bonuses and the like?Right now I'm trying to avoid it just because I don't want to encourage focused OR non-focused characters over the other. I may change my mind later, if I can figure out a happy medium.A Chib (In skeleton themed chib-shell armor, naturally) with a Grimscythe has to show up at some point though...
Also, the junker bat doesn't look old tech wreckage enough. And the proudmane axe could have more extravagant, trailing feathering.
I think the Junker Bat is up for tons of variation, really. I like yours a lot, my original image was the pipe the lead character in 'Nier" uses at the beginning of the game, someone may even have a "salvaged" mechanoid arm on a handle.
Was wondering if you'd like another set of eyes on the text before it goes to print. I've been following this blog since it launched and the development and game look quite fun, so if I could help a bit to make the final product better I'd be willing.Like in the second bullet in this spread it should be "adversary's" not "adversaries".I'm not a professional editor but I'm also willing to just go over the text a couple times if you'd like. No monies or anything, I just like seeing good games out in the world.
Thanks for your interest in the project George.Yes! I make many school boy errors when I hack Rey's copy about to fit the layout concepts :-sWe'll certainly be opening up the rules for feedback and proof reading before the thing goes to print/final production. Ultimately we'll be very grateful of all constructive comments on grammar, consistency as well as the rules themselves. We're gonna release a rough and ready playset to capture feedback and maybe open up a googledoc to a few trusted editors.Thanks for your kind offer, but it's a bit early yet. Please volunteer again when we're nearer completion (we'll put a post up!).
Very cool, looking forward to it.